Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Zanu PF and Residual Faeces

By Nick Mangwana

Continuing this week's theme of Perpetual Cleansing I honestly felt like writing this instalment in Shona my mother tongue. For when one gets emotional, they resort to their vernacular.  

I have a cousin who married a beautiful Ndebele lass. After a few years in that dry Masvingo District where I hail from she became very fluent in Shona. But whenever she was upset the beautiful clicks that make Ndebele so musical would start rolling out.  That's what happens when someone stops using their head but start using their heart.

So I am thinking this in Shona, because it comes from the heart.  I will start by at least asking my first question to the reader in Shona and revert back to English with some translations for those who speak our many other official languages.  Pane akambosvina matumbu kana guru (does everyone know how to clean tripe or cow chitlins?). For the sake of those who have never had the experience or witnessed it I will explain.

Whenever the insides of an animal are turned and cleaned, no matter how hungry it had been before its slaughter there will always be faeces in its gut. If those that are very healthy and shiny with a lustrous sheen, when they die and you turn their insides, you will find faeces.  I want the good reader to catch this point. Even those animals that actually starve to death, they will always have faeces inside them. Hell, even if you slaughter a cow that has just finished relieving itself or defecating, it will always have faeces inside of it. Now, we all know that defecating is a way of self-cleansing. So in short, no matter how much an organism cleans itself it will always what they call in biology residual faeces.  If you insist on draining all the faeces from the system of the animal, the animal may dies. For there is something called "residual faeces" in every living organism.

One may wonder why we have just gone to biology class again. Those with insight have already picked that Zanu PF is a living organism. It will always have residual faeces in its system as in undesirable people no matter how much we purge.  It is not only impossible to get rid of all the residual faeces, but is also quite healthy to have them.

Thus Zanu PF as an organisation is always going to have this residual faeces or stool. These are people that represent undesirable part of its being. We all would like it to be out, to expel and remove it but it is virtually impossible. There are of course people that have pursued these new fads. There is one called colonic irrigation. This is a new fad by many celebrities who feel that they are too posh to have faeces in their system. So, special equipment is used to pump water through the backside into the large intestine or colon.  The other name for this procedure is colonic hydrotherapy. Those people that practise these processes will be trying to remove what they believe to be putrefied faecal matter in their large intestines. Is the good reader surprised? Done be, there are people that obsessed with getting rid of faeces. They try to cleanse themselves of all faecal matter. But here is the thing, after a few meals there will be residual faeces again in their systems.  No matter how much you put this equipment through the back passage and irrigate, there will be faeces in your system.

So what’s the solution? How does one make sure they don’t have residual faeces in their gut? Well, you know what? You can’t.  Some things are just meant to be.

Zanu PF is a party of millions of people. It should try to get rid of unwanted excess baggage in its system. But it should not obsess about it.  Once the annoying ones are gone, that’s it. There is no point in going for purity because that state will never be attained. Some things we have to live with. There will always be those are among us who are not fully with us. If churches can have those, how do we expect a political party to have everyone who is who unwavering? I would like to say that they can but the reader and the writer here know that it’s a utopian notion.

The party should continue to be vigilant against bad elements but vigilance does not meaning burning down your house because it has bed bugs. Hatipise imba nekuti yaita tsikidzi.


No comments:

Post a Comment